Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Getting Back in the Saddle and Loving It

I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately. I had a switch in my day job and it's been taking a lot of time and attention. Add sending my youngest off to college and some health crises for my mother and, well, I haven't been able to get much done. I went through revisions and copy edits, but I didn't give it the attention I usually do. I'm down to page proofs now and, for some reason, I'm into it. I seriously don't have the time to dive this deep into this book, but I am loving it.

I'm not sure if my depression slowed down my work or not doing the work made me depressed, but I'm convinced they are inextricably linked. I'm pretty sure that feeling better and writing again are just as linked.

It's been painful, but I think I learned an important lesson. I thought I could give up writing. I was considering it pretty seriously. I don't think I can do it. I think it's too linked to who I am and who I want to be.

So here's to discovering my joy again and reconnecting to the person that I think I'm supposed to be. Is there something you have to do to feel like yourself? Something you can't live without?


Maureen McGowan said...

So glad you're feeling better, Eileen!!!

I always wonder about those chicken and egg questions with my mood too. I know I eat better and exercise more and write more when my mood is better, but I'm never positive about which comes first.

I think the lesson is to push myself to do those things (eat well, exercise, write) when I feel like crap, but it's hard...

Stephanie Doyle said...

Eileen - so glad to hear things are turning around.

But really - give up writing?

How could you think you could do it? I'm going through a similar slump right now and the writing sometimes feels like pulling teeth. But then I start to get into a chapter and I start to really hear the characters again and I remember... oh yeah. I love this.

Molly O'Keefe said...

I totally agree - at the end of the a book I always wonder if it's worth the toll on my life to write this way. It's physically draining, if not harmful and I'm really really hard to live with for about three weeks. But after a week off and a new shiny idea starts kicking in - I realize it's worth it.

Eileen said...

I had actually discussed quitting with two writer friends here in Davis and they were both aghast. It was as if I told them I was going to stop showering or something. I really thought they were being over-dramatic. Apparently not. I can't tell you how blue I've been without it. It's crazy. Publishing makes me kind of nuts, but I just can't quit it!

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