I'm working on developing new ideas right now. Pulling out the idea file, parsing through them combining them, twisting them, trying to come up with my next project.
I love this time. Usually. For most of my past books this pure creative development stage has been a joy. But it feels as if the more experience I get under my belt, the more pressure there is at this point. I hate thinking I'm being derivative or that
the idea isn't big enough or interesting enough or deep enough. I know how much work and blood and sweat and tears it takes for me to do a book and so I want to feel confident that THIS IS THE ONE. (Even though I know it's impossible to know that.)
I started to read this post last week and it helped. It's titled "How to Steal Like an Artist". I need to go read it again. It is full of wisdom and words that make me feel better about myself. Nothing wrong with that.
But the other thing that's struck me while working on these new ideas is how important it is to own your ideas. Some people are better than others at taking someone else's idea and running with it. I'm not. I wish I was. Molly gave me a very cool idea on Saturday night when we were talking about our ideas. A twist on what I was doing that I hadn't thought of. But the more I try to expand on it, the more I try to imagine turning that idea into a story, the less it works for me. And it's a great idea. So here are the possible reasons why it's not sparking: 1) I'm dumb, 2) I'm too stubborn/proud to work on something that's not my idea, or 3) I can't make it come to life because I don't own it. It's possible, with more work and thought, I could own it. But I don't now.
I know another writer who has had this problem with a few books. At least that's my opinion of why she had problems with a few books. Stalling on coming up with her own ideas, she took sparks of ideas from others and then had a hell of a time forming them into her own story. Owning them.
So, I'm back to the drawing board, I think. Faking it until I make it. I hope.