Booksignings

I'm having one this Thursday with my friend Spring Warren at the Borders in Davis, California at 7 p.m. Come on down. It'll be great. There'll be cookies with our book covers on them. Plus ones shaped like snails and others shaped like witch hats. We're going to do a literary mash up. Spring is taking a scene from her book (which is a memoir about eating 75% of her food by weight from her yard for a year) and my urban fantasy and smushing them together. It should be funny. And fun. Possibly even charming. I am extremely hopeful that we'll sell some books.

Now, let me tell you how much I hate doing this. I really do. I hate booksignings. I do one every year here in Davis for whatever book is coming out and I dread it. I try to make it fun. I try to make it a party (although Borders is banning booze this time). Still, it makes me just a little miserable.

Will anyone show up? Will too many people show up? Will obnoxious kids in the bookstore eat all my treats before the real guests arrive? Did I buy too much food? Will my talk be stupid? Am I stupid? Will anyone even care? Will they forget to order my backlist (again)? If they do order it, will anyone buy it? What should I wear? Dressy? Casual? Cleavage baring or modest? Okay. Forget the last one. I almost always go with the cleavage. I use it as camouflage technique. Maybe they won't notice how big my butt is if they're looking at my boobs.

Before I started writing, I used to love to go to booksignings. I loved to see if the author would look and sound how I expected her/him to or be entirely different. I loved to hear their stories. One time, Karen Joy Fowler read a scene that had been cut from her book. It was fantastic. I felt like such an insider. I've yet to figure out how to capture that joy on the other side of the table. I always feel sweaty and desperate.

So how about you? Do you love or loathe booksignings? Do you feel like you have to do them or do you blow them off entirely (something I'm seriously considering)?