Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Is that a banana? Or are you just happy to see me?

So a couple of weeks ago, I got sick. Nothing horrific. Just your typical virus with a fever and a sore throat. I took the day off of work and dozed on the couch and watched TV. There was a Law and Order: SVU marathon going. I love the Law and Orders. I'm not proud of it, but I can kind of watch them endlessly. They all flow one into the other, especially if you're running a fever.

I woke up at one point and I'm pretty sure I heard Mariska Hargitay say, "Ma'am, do you know why someone would have put a banana in your husband's rectum?"

I have to admit, it woke me up. And made me snicker although Mariska didn't even smirk. The whole experience got me thinking, though. If I was a Law and Order: SVU writer would I be making up stranger and weirder sex crimes constantly, because after a while another rape is just boring?

It's one of the things that makes me grateful for getting to work in more than one genre. Or sub-genre. Or whatever it is that I do. I get a break here and there. I can stop thinking about creepier and creepier things for my serial killers to do while I wonder about the power structure in a werewolf pack. I can stop trying to make up weird magic things about my Messenger character while I think about romantic suspense plots.

I am sincerely hopeful that it will keep me from ever writing about anyone with a banana in their rectum.

10 comments:

Rob said...

I absolutely loved this post!!!

Got me to thinking of crimes I would sumbit, especially during this festive season...

Prancer is found murdered, it is revealed that Donner and Blitzen have been having a same sex relationship that they were terrified Santa would frown on.

Prancer found out about the illicit homo-reindeer games and was about to blow the whistle.

Rudolph has been abusing cocaine, the stress of being, "the most famous reindeer of all"

And in the end it is really Frosty the Snowman who took out Prancer in an attempt to boost his slumping record sales, and a hostile take over of the North Pole workshop.

Anyway loved your post and feel a little guilty putting a link to my blog here...

http://inspiredbycaffeinenicotine.blogspot.com/

Of course not feeling guilty enough not to do it

Sinead M said...

Too funny. Apparently I need to start watching Law and Order SVU.

Shiloh Tolbert said...

Wow! Good thing I'm not an actor because I so could not say that without breaking down laughing!!

Maureen McGowan said...

Ha! This really cracked me up, and I think it's so true. Although I've yet to tackle more than two projects in any genre. Um. What does THAT say about me...
I think you also made me realize why I don't often watch Law & Order or CSI shows. I enjoy them whenever I watch... but maybe I don't tune in on purpose because for me, all they're doing is thinking up sicker ways to tell the same story over and over...
But maybe if I watched more regularly I'd get interested in the characters. Don't know.
Now need to read Rob's comment...

Eileen said...

Exactly, Maureen! They do a great job of putting in twists, although you kind of always know that if there's a recognizable actor in a part that he or she is going to be the bad guy, but still they're always having to make the story more outrageous, more unusual, more more.

Rob, "illicit homo-reindeer games" completely cracked me up. Santa apparently needs to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell, too!

Maureen McGowan said...

Rob, If you were writing for SVU I'd watch. LOL

And your blog is funny, too. (Not surprisingly given your reindeer SVU plot suggestions.)

Molly O'Keefe said...

oh NO!!! No they didn't!! A banana in the rectum? I haven't watched those Law and Orders in a long time - my guilty crime show pleasure is NCIS - for whatever reason....

And Rob! North Pole CSI - you could market that!! Your blog is hilarious.

I think about this root problem all the time, since I right in one genre - how many mommy issues can I give a person/ How many daddy issues? How in the world do I make the endless conversations about why someone won't love another person interesting not just to readers but me!!! I long for a rectum filled with banana....

I'm just going to leave that...

Molly O'Keefe said...
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Molly O'Keefe said...
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Eileen said...

Ah, the longings of a working writer, Molly. We get a little squirrelly sometimes, don't we?

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