Hey! We've had fun this summer, haven't we? The picnics on the beach, the library visits, the vacations, the days spent in and out of swim suits, those ridiculously late bed times. All good stuff. And we still have a few more weeks of it. But I want to give you fair warning - I won't be playing. I won't be playing any version of tag - not even the ridiculously cool Greek God version that Mick came up with the other day. This includes water tag and freeze tag. I will not be playing pretend. I'm sorry Lucy the barbies are going to have to save the hamster by themselves. And Mick, the thirty minutes of rules and world building that you require before each game only means that we have NEVER played one of your pretend games. I will still listen to the rules, only I will be sitting on my blanket in the shade and not carrying a pretend sword and trying to make sense of your half demon half animal complete with power ups game.
Candyland is out of the question. So is playdoh. And Cooties. Oh my God, so is Cooties.
This is not forever, it is only until further notice. This is what I will do - I will have more of your friends come over. I will go nowhere without some child under the age of ten who wants to save the hamster or make up rules to pretend games. We will go to the pool and I will still throw you, because that's just fun. The library is in, so is the Museum. And the picnics on the beach, but now with more friends and probably more wine.
No, there is still no television in the mornings.
I'm sorry to do this to you, but I have been playing for close to eight years. I have been on the floor and tied up. I have jammed myself under beds waiting for you to find me. I have had playgrounds full of children chase me, only to tag me and freeze me and forget about me. I have saved that stupid hamster A MILLION TIMES. Don't worry, Dad will still play. Grandma loves saving that hamster. Me, I want to sit in the shade and maybe read a book. Talk to an adult. I absolutely want to clean my house.
I think this will be an exciting change for us, perhaps a precursor to you getting your own juice - a development I am very excited about. We'll still have fun - just without candyland.
There's a good chance I will never play Candyland again.