Love's Reality

So many who follow this blog may know that my guilty secret is the show the Bachelor/Bachelorette and yes, Bachelor Pad (which by far is the worst and the most fun to watch.) This season’s Bachelor featured 25 Beautiful women… as usual. Although one girl was missing part of her left arm: Sarah. She was quite pretty and explained she’d been born with the deformity. Sean, the Bachelor, took her out on a one on one date and seemed interested at first, but eventually that interest dissipated as his interest in other girls took hold.

Once he decided he wasn’t keeping her around, he didn’t wait for a rose ceremony but instead let her go immediately. I think he thought he was sparing her not being picked. He had previously set a precedent for being somewhat unconventional.

Part of me thought that he treated her differently because of her deformity – which makes him a jerk. Part of me thought since he had previously done things differently and this was just another example of that it might have nothing to do with her deformity. He could have just been a sensitive guy.

But all of me felt bad for Sarah. Because as she left, like so many other jilted girls before her on this show, she cried and said how she had heard it all before. How sweet she was. How nice she was. How pretty she was. How “someday” she was going to make someone so lucky… but how that “day” never came for her.

And again – was this only because of her arm? Was this the one thing separating her from a lifetime of happiness? And that’s when it hit me… Maybe. Or maybe not.

It’s really hard to know what triggers two people into falling in love. It’s just as hard to know what stops them. I write books all the time about the myriad of reasons that have kept people from falling in love for so long only to suddenly find it with that one special person.

So many of us, basically all of us not in love with someone right now, probably have a reason. Sarah thinks it might be her arm. Some probably think it’s their weight. Some because they have acne or one leg is shorter than the other. Or maybe because they live at home, or don’t have a job, or whatever.

The reality is that yes, the “thing” MIGHT be the reason. There are people out there who won’t be interested in another person because of XY or Z. However, it also might NOT be the reason, because the truth about love is that it can be mysterious and elusive.

I guess I don’t have a point other than I had this sad feeling about how hard it might be for a young girl who is different to find love. But then I immediately realized not only a) as brave as she was to go on this show she certainly doesn’t want my pity - but more importantly b) we’re ALL a little different.

Love is magic. As we get ready for our big Valentines Day bonanza week at Storytelling Rules… I just wanted to remind all of you who are happy in love how special it really really is. You too probably had a reason to as to why you weren't in love... right up until the point you were.