Monday, April 19, 2010

Taking Stock

So, there I was the other day, on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor using a wipe - yes, a DIAPER wipe - to clean up the mysterious sticky brown spots by my sink when I realized, while this wasn't rock bottom (I love my life far too much to be bothered by some diaper wipe house cleaning) it certainly was strange. And sitting there, next the the crushed blueberry that I haven't bothered to pick up for the last week - I took a quick stock of my life:

I love, absolutely love being a mom, wife and writer. But there are days - many of them, for each - I want to get in my car and drive to my mommy and let her take care of me.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips is about as comforting and page-turning as a writer can be and those two traits are hard to achieve in tandem.

I will never get to that Tuesday morning spin class. Never.

I have no problem saying no to the first beer, it's the second and fifth that get me in trouble.

Should my trusted writing friends get kidnapped by a Columbian drug cartel - I would ransome them. Maybe quicker than I would my husband....

The words SPRING MAKE UP TRENDS are so foreign they're like an alien language.

The self doubt that plauges me as woman, plagues me as a mother and a writer. It blows, but I really think I'm just going to have to live with it.

If I drank as much water as I do coffee I have no doubt but I would be healthier.

I want to pay people to do most of the things in my life so I can have more time to drink coffee.

Spartacus is as close to a penis as I get sometimes....

Where are you guys? Similar boat?


Sinead M said...

Too funny... definitely similar boat. I want to pay people to go the gym for me, to tell me how to run my days.
I used to know what Spring makeup trends were.

Stephanie Doyle said...

Perfect post. I'm turning 40at the end of the year so I've been taking stock pretty much every day.

1) I've come to peace with the fact I'm not going to have children. And I'm okay wiht that. Children are hard!!! And according to Molly they throw things on the all the time. I'll stick to nieces and nephews.

2) I have NO desire to get married (I have plenty of money and I control the TV remote - who wants to give that up?) I just have to accept that some people will consider me a freak for that.

3) I will never be as good a writer as I want to be. That blows - but I just have to accept it and keep writing.

4) If I drank less wine I would be thinner. But if I drank less wine I would probably be insane.

And finally - this blog has been really important in the last year. It keeps me connected to writers and I need that. I didn't realize how much.

M. said...

I hear you on the wipe cleaning. I had no idea how useful those little squares of moist cloth were till I had kids. You'd think I might be able to figure out the super sekrit formula of paper towel + water on my own, but apparently, no.
And Spartacus? Somehow, more likely to make me think it's about time to donate blood again, what with the ubiquitous super slo-mo 3D flying droplet arcs every quarter hour or so. Or perhaps jot down tampons on my shopping list.

Maureen McGowan said...

Oh, so funny. And i'd pay your ransom, too.

Love Steph's list, too. RE: 1 and 2, we can be freaks together. Yes, sometimes I feel sorry for myself and lonely but not as often as I get angry of offended when someone pities my single and childless status. Most days, I'm so good with it. Nieces and nephews and visiting Molly and Sinead's kids are enough for me.

M. Since Spartacus is the closest I've been to a penis in a while, too, I'm willing to put up with the sheets of flying blood. (and bad dialogue and bad acting of some characters.) :)

Wendy Marcus said...

Hang in there, Molly. You are not alone! Do your best and be content with that. You're children will blame you for everything no matter how hard you try.

Karen W said...

Guys, I'm there, though in a different place.

The thing I'm having trouble coming to grips with is aging. I'm going to be - gasp - 49 this year. All the little things - crows feet, less firm skin, old lady looking hands - are freaking me out!

I know lots of happy, childless people. My one kid is grown, and I'm happy and childless now as well, though in a different way.

Re the being as good a writer as you want to be - how do you know? I've published 26 (I think, might be 23, don't have time to count) books and I'm still growing into myself as a writer. My thing is that I think I'll improve even more once I don't have to work the day job. My goal is to write full time by the time I'm fifty - one year away. Wish me luck.

The other thing that freaks me out is the utter lack of time. I have a zillion things I want/need to do, but never enough hours in the day to do them. Will that change once I don't have the day job? Don't know. I will definitely be poorer, unless I can write a lot more books for more money!

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