Thursday, January 07, 2010

Revenge...

I want revenge against a lot of things. And since I, like Molly, am a big fan of lists here it goes…

1. Valerie Bertinelli - for getting into that freakin bikini and making me think that it’s possible.
2. My treadmill – for the recent torture it has inflicted on me.
3. All people with good metabolism – including my two sisters. (Are you all sensing a pattern… day 3 of jogging sucks!)
4. Movie screen writers - the ones who make six and seven figures for writing unoriginal crap.
5. Aaron Sorkin - for leaving me without television like the West Wing. I miss you Aaron.
6. My inner muse – for handing me stories about a mute witch, an American Revolutionary and a Viking that I can do nothing with. (Not really inner muse – you know I love you. Just keep it coming.)
7. My writing ability – for failing me at crucial moments. Like when I thought I had a great idea but didn’t execute it well enough to attract anyone’s notice.
8. My assistant – for telling me I really should read New Moon.
9. My favorite authors - for not being able to produce books faster but also for not taking the time to make each book as good as the last because they’re going too fast. (Seems unfair I know, but it’s my list!)
10. Time – for not giving me enough of it in a day to sleep as much as I want, write as much as I want and exercise as much as I need. (Oh wait… that’s not time. That’s my day job.)

Who/What do you want revenge against?

5 comments:

Molly O'Keefe said...

Ikind of want revenge on the Mom at the drop in - with the new baby strapped to her chest and the little girl hovering around her knees. The mother is back in her skinny jeans (oh, she says, breastfeeding! The weight just falls off. To which I wanted to reply - I breastfed and I think your weight fell on me!) She was wearing this stylish hat and a cool shirt- and again, those skinny jeans. And I was wearing the same clothes for the third day in a row. Because that's where I am at in my life.

Aaron Sorkin - could not agree more. In fact, I think I will get the first season of West Wing to watch instead of some of the other nonsense I'm watching.

Eileen said...

Well . . . if you really think it's okay to let my inner bitch out to run with the chihuahuas, I might want revenge on that friend who effortlessly does everything better than me.

You know the one . . . she takes up running years after you do and immediately starts doing 8-minute miles. Starts painting decades after you and wins awards at the state fair. Sends out one resume and gets twenty job offers. And all the time is nice to you so you can't really even be pissy.

Oh, and totally ditto on the Aaron Sorkin thing. West Wing was awesome!

Karen Whiddon said...

Wow, way kool that you're jogging. Speaking of exercising, that starts my list:

1. The women at the gym who breeze in, with their tans so fake they're grotesque and platinum blond hair, fake boobs, and short, shorts (it's in the 20's outside, come on) and giggle as they effortlessly run for a half hour without even breaking a sweat, then go to the free weight area and start hefting 15lb weights in one hand while batting their eyelashes at ever man in the place.

2. Stephenie Meyer, who apparently had never written a book before, had a dream, wrote it down and got mega rich and famous. Actually, what I'm angry about isn't that, but the fact that she portrays it like she didn't have to slave at all over the actual EXECUTION of the dream (see my comment on Wendiaarons.com)

3. People in the state I live in who act like the world is coming to an end because it's suppsoed to get into the teens tongiht. Seriously, it's headline news here. Likewise if it snows. Granted, I'm in the South, but enough already.

Maureen McGowan said...

I want revenge against the person who first thought it would be a good idea to put solitaire and other games onto computers.

Seriously. That person should be forced to play non stop until their fingers bleed and their eyes fall out. ;-)

Sinead M said...

For me right now, it's the women who's children slept through the night starting at a week, and then slept for four hours during the day... and they didn't know how to fill the time..

If that is the case, just don't tell people.. keep it to yourself... it's mean otherwise

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