Alpha Males and Setting

Okay, so I've probably angered a few people over the years by spouting theories about things I know very little about. So I'm going to do it again.

Drum roll... Here is my romance genre theory of the century of the week. ;-)

Well, I'm probably flattering myself in calling it a theory, because I doubt I'm the first person to think these things -- it's just that a few big light bulbs have turned on for me about the romance genre, alpha males in particular, in the past few months. Since when? Since I started reading JR Ward, that's when...

One small "problem" I had when I first tried writing romance was that I wasn't in love with the genre. Well, that was big problem. But a subset of that problem was that, in real life, I HATE alpha males. Nothing makes me more crazy or turns me off more than arrogant, patronizing, self-aggrandizing men. I go for the more sensitive types. I don't mean a wimp, he just can't think he's god's gift to the rest of us. (Okay, now this it turning into a personal ad. Single, sensitive non-wimp? Call me.)

And I think I'm not alone in this day and age in my alpha male distaste. Ever since women got the vote and were declared people and other groundbreaking things that only happened in the past 80 or so years -- not to mention being told they had career choices beyond teacher, secretary or nurse, which really only happened in the last 30 years... I think most women prefer their mates to treat them as equal human beings. And by definition, an alpha male would never do that. He thinks he's top dog -- superior to everyone including his mate. He might worship the woman of his dreams, but even if she "tames" him to an extent, his love for her won't be a "we're equals" kind of thing. More like a "you're mine" kind of thing.

So... where I'm getting to with this in my typical roundabout way, is that I think it's hard to write an alpha male hero in a contemporary, real world setting. At least a hero that many women wouldn't rather kill, than sleep with. (You don't want him to be a big dick, just have one.)

And therein lies the problem. While most modern women wouldn't want an uber-alpha male as her life partner... many women (me included) have sexual fantasies involving alpha males. (Did I just confess a sexual fantasy in public? Egads.) My point is, many women would like to take a man like that to bed at least once -- a man who's strong, insatiable and takes control -- they just wouldn't want to live with a man like that. But romance (vs erotica) is about both fantasy and happily ever after... So, what to do? It's tough.

My conclusion is that alpha-male, hunky-man-specimen heros work better in a different setting. Put him in a historical time setting, or in a fantasy or futuristic world and he works, because the setting can create an excuse for what many women would consider appalling behavior in real life. "It's not his fault. It's society, or his social class, or his upbringing, or his biological make up...." That's why I'm loving the whole paranormal/urban fantasy thing right now. In that genre you can make biology an excuse for man-whores. (Ever notice there isn't a male word for nymphomaniac? Man-whore. My new favorite word.)

In contemporary settings it's harder to do the alpha male, but not impossible. Writers use the military as a setting a lot... (Navy Seals anyone?) I've never read a Harlequin Presents, but from what I know of that series, they play with settings, too. They put the heros in places or situations unfamiliar to most readers, a foreign country, or a royal family, or the world of the filthy rich. So, even though those books are contemporary -- they are fantasy-world settings at the same time.

Another observation I've had reading JR Ward's Black Dagger series is: if you make alpha male heros big enough, and strong enough, and masculine enough, and sexually insatiable enough -- not to mention good-looking enough -- you can give him some crazy baggage and/or hang-ups. Crazy, crazy hang-ups that break every so-called taboo in the romance genre. Fun, fun, fun.

In conclusion... am I the only one who fell in love with David Cook on Idol last night? So not an alpha male, but so sexy...