I don't remember when I've started out a calendar year so full of hope. And I'm not sure why.
I'm under a lot of personal stress right now. Things actually aren't going all that well in most areas of my life. Plus, I came down with a horrible New Year's cold that has me knocked off my feet at a time when I have A LOT TO DO.
But... I feel hopeful. I feel like the 365 days (okay 363 1/2 days) stretched ahead of me are full of opportunities and possibilities. For me and for my friends.
I stopped making resolutions years ago, but I think this year I'm going to try.
Here I go:
1. Eat better (For me, a lot of this is eat out less often, which will also help with the financial woes).
2. Stretch every day (Yes, I want to exercise more in general, but I'm such a tight ball of pain and stress right now and I know that, as painful and uncomfortable as stretching is in my current condition, I always feel better after I do it.)
3. Stay on the sunny side. (This one will be hard for me. As positive as I feel today, I know myself. I get blue. But I have a few ideas and strategies in mind to keep the brightness alight.)
4. Don't second guess as much. (Okay, now I'm starting to sound as if my plan for 2013 is to entirely change my personality. LOL. But I think what I mean is, especially in terms of my writing, that I just want to go for it, again. Like I did in the early days when I believed all of my ideas were awesome and marketable and worth reading. Having been hit on the head by the sledge hammer that is publishing, a few too many times, I've started to assume my ideas suck, or are derivative or boring, before I even start them--and that seriously saps all the fun out of writing.)
5. Write more proposals. (This is related to the one above. Back in the day, I could write, say 35-50 pages of something new in a week, maybe two. They'd be a mess, but they'd be done. And sometimes it's hard to get the feel of a story or a character or figure out whether an idea has legs by brainstorming ideas with friends or writing notes and outlines. Sometimes you just need to start. And it's not a failure if it's something I never finish. I think that's the key. I have a fairly lengthy list of ideas. I want to turn several those "ideas" and combinations and permutations of those ideas, into 50 page starts and use those beginnings to figure out which ones might be worth finishing. And not put this HUGE PRESSURE on which idea to tackle first. It's just 35-50 pages, for frack's sake!)
I do feel hopeful about this year. I think, one way or another, 2013 is going to be a year of change for me.
Change is scary. But at least I feel sure that a year from now my world won't look the same to me as it looks right now.