Monday, February 05, 2007

MY RICH - AND HIGHLY EMBARASSING - FANTASY LIFE....

This blog is in the interest of full disclosure -- an effort to prove no matter where we are in our career, process or life underneath it all we are all the same -- slightly ridiculous and prone to hyperbole.

This fantasy blog is brought on by two things.

Reason 1. I had made a comment to my critique group that when I walk my dog I envision and actually act out the phone call Ihave with my agent when she calls to tell me "to sit down because I have great news." and after I said this Maureen laughed and said -- what until I tell you what I do -- but then she NEVER SAID!! Maybe if I totally embarrass myself she'll do the same...

Reason 2. And this is really awful -- I had this amazing dream last night that bad guys (not sure who they were) were after me -- going so far as to send me video on my phone that they had been in my grandmother's house while she slept and that they knew where my daughter (don't have a daughter) was and should I not give them what they wanted (not sure what that was) both Oma and the little girl would be in trouble. ( I saw a lot of movies this weekend) And coming to my aid -- Daniel Craig!! Delicious - fantastic dream. And then in a wonderful suprise twist -- we start making out! EVEN BETTER! WONDERFUL DREAM! But then as things are getting interesting I realize I've been on the run for days and I could really use a shower -- so then this delicious sex dream turns into an awful STRESS DREAM. And I woke up realizing I couldn't ask for a better example of how my fantasies are in serious jeopardy thanks to reality.

I have a single title project that has been rejected by the finest publishing houses in North America. Rejected with totally unhelpful and contradictory rejection letters ("loved the writing!" "The writing just wasn't strong enough") sighting reasons as vague as "just didn't do it for me!" or "I really like this I just don't know what to do with it!"

I love this business. Really love it.

But the other day I get an off hand email from my agent saying that an editor who had liked the book and had asked for revisions had passed the book up to the buying editor. Let the fantasies BEGIN!! There I am walking along the beaches imagining when that phone call from my agent will come -- a tuesday? Perhaps during nap time? No, probably while I'm feeding Mick and it will be on a Friday. Or Thursday. Either way I won't have showered for a while and I'll be in yoga pants.

I act out my part and my agent's part -- attempting her Western New York accent without much success. I imagine how much money we will be talking about - how many bills I can pay off and the kind of house we will buy. Even when I'm being realiztic I imagine calling my student loan creditors and telling them that I am coming out of hiding with my hands up and cash to give (maybe they are the bad guys in the dream).

But at some point -- around Ashbridges Bay the ridiculous winter wind freezing off my nose I face up to the truth -- this is no guarantee. In fact I imagine I've been rejected more in this stage than any other. It feels more perilous -- more difficult -- the odds even less in my favor. And I return home back in reality - which is you can never tell in this business. You can never tell.

This is not a post asking for pats or encouragment -- what I am asking is YOU DO THIS TOO, RIGHT? talk to yourself? act out the scene? I am not alone, right?

More discussion of fantasy life -- I've decided Mark Wahlberg is going to be my template for every romance hero from now on. He is something else.

11 comments:

Sinead M said...

I think we all must have ridiculous fantasy lives... how else do we create stories from nothing. Love the dream... I too have had dreams with Daniel..

I fantasize about book tours, which is ridiculous, because 1) I am not a people person and hate speaking in public and 2) I don't really enjoy travelling, and yet fantasize about my 'book tour' all the time..

Mark Walhberg, Really!

Maia said...

You aren't the only one. Just yesterday I introduced myself to a woman who's lecture I'd just attended, telling her that I'd like to pick her brain because I want to write a protagonist with the kind of job she has. I fumbled the intro badly. I'm sure she's waiting for my call.

In the car afterward, I practiced various scintillating ways I could have asked impressed her. Next time I'll practice. Guess this oddity helps with writing?

Christine said...

Everyday...and I agree with Sinead, I think it's how creative minds work. I can see my characters in my stories (most of which started out as dreams), and can hear myself talk them through it.

And of course there were those oscar dreams I had as a kids...and last night.

Maureen McGowan said...

Fantasize? Me? :-)

Maureen McGowan said...

Maia

I think the fact that we always edit our converstaions after the face is what makes us writers.

Maureen McGowan said...

After the face?

Should have edited. LOL.

Of course I meant fact

Kimber said...

Don't have any writing fantasies (not even about The Call) but I do have a few about pirates...

And more than one fantasy about spending a day doing nothing.

Abby said...

The one where the editor reads the first two pages of your work and says "ohmigod!" and nearly falls of her chair in delerious ecstasy.

Er, is it just me?

Wylie Kinson said...

Everytime the phone rings... just for those few moments it takes my to walk over and pick up the receiver, I imagine it's an editor telling me that my ms was plucked from the slush pile -- where it shouldn't have been in the first place -- and the contracts are in the mail.
Then I answer in my most polite but professional voice.
It's usually my mother.

Molly O'Keefe said...

Mark Whalberg is just hot enough to be eye-catching but like a hot guy you knew in high school not like a movie star. And he's a guys guy -- from the wrong side of the tracks, seen some things done some things but trying to make things work. Very heroic and remember those underwear ads?

Jordanne Ford said...

Molly,
Totally agree with the Mark W thing. He IS all that and a bag of chips.

And I think it's pretty safe to assume you're not alone in the fantasy land of 'getting the call', or standing in front of a room of people where you're the keynote speaker, spilling forth with pearls of wisdom and wit. Then that fantasy gets dispelled when you fumble up the order at the Timmy's drive thru.

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