tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post4562857805328941826..comments2023-11-03T05:49:10.841-04:00Comments on Storytelling Rules: An Open Letter to Armie Hammer on the term "mommy porn"Maureen McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00494408580378817045noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-24102695851818547782013-09-13T14:17:13.758-04:002013-09-13T14:17:13.758-04:00They don't have any need to "escape"...They don't have any need to "escape" from their realities by reading romance novels and pretending that they're being romanced by so and so. <br /><br />And yes, that is the reason most women read these romance/erotica novels. I've met actual women who say they need that stuff to escape from their ordinary lives for a few hours.<br /><br /><br />Tragically sad and pathetic that any woman needs to resort to that which is stated here. So much better to find someone to actually romance you each and every day! Thank God I have that, but I still like to spend time reading this genre and others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-8956992793175049522013-09-05T15:38:03.332-04:002013-09-05T15:38:03.332-04:00Hammer is hardly the first person to call it "...Hammer is hardly the first person to call it "mommy porn". Many people call books like 50 shades and other romance novels "mommy porn." Look at Emma Watson's reaction to the rumors to the rumors that she might be in a 50 shades of Grey movie. She acted insulted and disgusted. <br /><br />She and Hammer are movie stars. They don't have any need to "escape" from their realities by reading romance novels and pretending that they're being romanced by so and so. <br /><br />And yes, that is the reason most women read these romance/erotica novels. I've met actual women who say they need that stuff to escape from their ordinary lives for a few hours.<br /><br />Movie stars have lives that ordinary people can only dream about. They don't need escapism in their day to day lives because they play make-believe for a living.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-47216730935203018962013-08-05T09:59:56.810-04:002013-08-05T09:59:56.810-04:00That may have been more eloquently put than the or...That may have been more eloquently put than the original post and it adds some much needed clarity to the subject. Agree, it is just as unfair to marginalize a book about a woman written by a woman as much as it is to marginalize a book about a man written by woman or a woman written by a man or even a man by a man or whatever combination one is reading. I agree, it should not be considered "porn" because it would be unfair to insinuate that all of us woman are aroused by reading it or that is the reason that we do read it. That, as a romance reader, I find insulting. If I were to be aroused by it, than yes, that's "porn" because the effect is one in the same. But, I have shared a wonderful love story with a very fulfilling sex life with the man of my dreams (My HEA :)) and haven't any need for that. Not to play marriage counselor, but if I did, I would immediately seek to resolve the underlying issues. I despise when someone makes an assumption that just because I read a romance or erotic novel that I long to be in the arms of another man or would 'desire' that. That just pisses me off, nothing is any better than lying in the arms of the man I have and sharing intimate moments with him. Please don't assume otherwise and 'marginalize' me for my choices in literature and make such assumptions, it 'paints' me as a pathetic woman.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-67554146210583991812013-08-02T17:47:11.900-04:002013-08-02T17:47:11.900-04:00I have to admit, I'm a little confused about w...I have to admit, I'm a little confused about who's saying what and how. I think, however, that we are losing the intent behind Molly's original post.<br /><br />Armie Hammer is 100% entitled to his opinion about 50 Shades of Grey. Molly's issue was the dismissive and shaming attitude behind calling it "just mommy porn."<br /><br />Whether you need to spice up your love life and reading erotica helps or hinders you in that attempt is a totally different issue and a personal one at that. I don't want to judge anyone for what they read or what they do in the bedroom or how those two activities might combine.<br /><br />What Armie Hammer wants and doesn't want to read is also not the point. Again, it's the marginalization perhaps because it's a book about a woman written by a woman and marketed to women that's the issue. <br /><br />At least, I'm pretty sure it is.Eileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09803986849921870941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-22638235705761898622013-08-02T15:29:08.873-04:002013-08-02T15:29:08.873-04:00But all in all, it appears that you care deeply ab...But all in all, it appears that you care deeply about your husband and your relationship with him. You even preface how the favorite part of your life is being a wife, also one of the best parts of my life. So, having made the effort to restore your intimacy and cherish it is commendable regardless of what it took to get there, it shows just how much you care about your own romantic relationship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-13827480555342237822013-08-02T15:24:06.571-04:002013-08-02T15:24:06.571-04:00I do find it sad, however, that someone would have...I do find it sad, however, that someone would have to resort to reading a romance novel to be "turned on" or to rev up their sex drive. That only indicates underlying issues in their relationship surrounding desire. Fortunately, for me, hubby and I have had burning desire for one another throughout our journey or love and passion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-35840678008859335412013-08-02T15:09:10.035-04:002013-08-02T15:09:10.035-04:00Not here to judge anyone, just as much as it would...Not here to judge anyone, just as much as it wouldn't be fair to judge Armie for his opinion either, right? Only God can judge anyone of us. We each can decide right from wrong. Yes, everyone should be able to read whatever they want and that's a personal choice of every reader. Again, I wouldn't want someone to think I was an ax murderer if they saw me reading horror books all the time, just as much as I wouldn't want anyone thinking I was a woman who was here for the taking of men just because I read romance novels. That, I agree is where I think others make some really poor assumptions about romance readers in general. While there certainly are a few woman that could leave that impression, the only man that has my heart, body, mind, and soul is the one I already am enjoying this wonderful life with and I wouldn't want it any other way with anyone else. I get irritated by both men and women that question me about my love life or assume I am on the prowl when they observe me reading any of these books. As if I was discontented in some way and that couldn't possibly be any further from the truth. I mean, geez, it's a book for crying out loud people, it's not real, I wouldn't want to be the characters or live their lives, that's absurd to think that I would. Period.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-38152991125897562152013-08-02T09:43:55.652-04:002013-08-02T09:43:55.652-04:00Anonymous I'm glad you stopped by the blog and...Anonymous I'm glad you stopped by the blog and it's always great to talk to another romance reader and one whose taste in entertainment has made such a positive impact on your life. But the point of the essay is no one needs to be judged - what we read and why we read it is everyone's choice. No one needs to be ashamed for what or why they read what they do and you're throwing around a lot of judgement. Molly O'Keefehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15171236688541657736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-63063021397788908042013-08-02T09:28:16.561-04:002013-08-02T09:28:16.561-04:00Brava Molly! You tell him sweetie. I loved what yo...Brava Molly! You tell him sweetie. I loved what you said about it threatening heterosexual males. Perhaps there's more truth to that then they understand. Words turn us on better than they do. Thank you<br /><br />YIKES! Sounds like you are meeting all the wrong men in the world, sorry to hear that. No words can turn me on more than those spoken by my hubby!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-66805066863555589222013-08-02T09:26:14.255-04:002013-08-02T09:26:14.255-04:00News flash: women can like sex. Mothers can like s... News flash: women can like sex. Mothers can like sex. It's usually how they became mothers<br /><br />Duh, that's why we meet, fall in love with , and marry men and live happily ever after. Are you insinuating that woman only read romance novels because they contain sex? That's as assanine as calling all romance literature mommy porn, touche. It's not even real, no woman is that stupid, give us more credit than that. As a woman, what we want is one really good man with whom we can share the rest of our lives with and live fully satisfying lives. I am one of the lucky woman out there who found that man 25 years ago and he has blessed my life in more ways than I could imagine and of course, that makes the sex hotter than anything I could have ever imagined! Although I read nearly every kind of "Romance" book out there, as I don't mind a good "beach read"....I would hate to think that someone would turn to me and think I am reading mommy porn, that indicates some sort of arousal from or interest in the sex in the book, please - don't insult me. Most men in these books are awful anyhow, couldn't even come close to my wonderful hubby as a real man, so just doesn't do anything for me, nor should it....but, great reading and some awesome plots in many of them regardless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-80527350173779590532013-08-02T09:11:09.561-04:002013-08-02T09:11:09.561-04:00Spot on Lizzy! To each their own, but "Books...Spot on Lizzy! To each their own, but "Books are meant to take us places reality can't."<br /><br />Not so sure about that, nothing I have read in a book is impossible.... <br /><br />I also despise the concept of "escapism" - to what is one escaping to or from? Sorry, life is far too wonderful for either to make any sense!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-60753904274430248012013-08-02T09:07:32.920-04:002013-08-02T09:07:32.920-04:00Well said!
BTW, my hubby loves that I read (and ...Well said! <br /><br />BTW, my hubby loves that I read (and write) those books! He knows what it does for our sex life. Take that, Armie :)<br /><br /><br /><br />Good for you, sounds like you are using your literature to make your marriage the best it can be and ignoring anything from the outside from intruding into what a beautiful, loving, faithful (mind, body, and soul) relationship you have built with the man of all your dreams...success!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-83390814970126300862013-08-02T09:04:57.914-04:002013-08-02T09:04:57.914-04:00Arnie Hammer said he used to practice but stopped,...Arnie Hammer said he used to practice but stopped, after getting married, because he respects his wife. So, besides the terrifying implication that he was a dom who practiced without respecting the subs he was with (terrifying, unsafe, dangerous), and the sadness of someone denying themselves of sex they like because of sexist notions of chilvary, he's just the same as Christian Grey.<br /><br /><br />Yeah, but he apparently finally meet someone whom he fell in love with. Because she had a different sexual style, he adapted to it for her. Making sacrafices or the willingness to change for the love of another speaks eons to his character and internal growth as he discovered what true love is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-57231277378587444842013-08-01T17:40:06.883-04:002013-08-01T17:40:06.883-04:00He should have called it smut!He should have called it smut!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-22166443783859720352013-08-01T17:36:14.019-04:002013-08-01T17:36:14.019-04:00Agree, as much of a threat to heterosexual males a...Agree, as much of a threat to heterosexual males as a threat to heterosexual females....why do so many of us woman leave their husbands or send them to therapy to resolve the issue of them looking at naked woman, but find it perfectly acceptable to read romance or erotica? Double standard. If neither can focus only on the other and be committed, faithful, loving, loyal, romantic and sexual with each other, than why be in a relatiosnhip like that to begin with? Stupidity! Now, I personally read romance as a happily married woman because I like to read, simply put. I also like to read some horror on occassion, but I sure don't think about participating in any of the horrific acts depcited on the pages, as much as I don't see myself in any of the acts depicted in a romance/erotica novel, unless, of course, they involve the love of my life, my dear hubby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-15383107013999112592013-08-01T17:29:09.061-04:002013-08-01T17:29:09.061-04:00Likely why the divorce rates are as high as they a...Likely why the divorce rates are as high as they are - we all accept that men should look at naked woman in magazines and movies and woman should read romance or erotica novels and that each in doing so shows just how much we love, cherish, and are committed only to the other, right!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-16883357161851611042013-08-01T17:18:49.092-04:002013-08-01T17:18:49.092-04:00Here's a novel concept, if you are needing sex...Here's a novel concept, if you are needing sexual desire, get a husband and do what you need!<br />A fake story about fake people about fake sex, yeah , that'll do it....ugh!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-41726032574649892532013-07-26T10:31:54.545-04:002013-07-26T10:31:54.545-04:00Do you see me jumping up an down??? THANK YOU for...Do you see me jumping up an down??? THANK YOU for writing this. As one of the most talented writers on my shelf, you are most qualified to talk about this stupid issue. I'd like to strangle whoever coined "mommy porn" as it marginalizes every woman who reads and happens to have a child. <br /><br />In any other business bringing in a fraction of the revenues this genre does, you'd see more respect given by the CEOs. How about it, publishers? You can step up by including works from this genre when it's time to hand out literary awards. And you can start with this writer:)Jonetta (Ejaygirl)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10973962625744119667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-54334660203764629562013-07-23T07:25:02.424-04:002013-07-23T07:25:02.424-04:00There's an irony in the interview where he mad...There's an irony in the interview where he made these statements. One of the (many) criticisms of 50 Shades I see coming from the kink community is that it implies True Love "cures" Christian Grey of his BDSM urges. (Way to insult your audience, implying that they need fixing for liking what you wrote.)<br />Arnie Hammer said he used to practice but stopped, after getting married, because he respects his wife. So, besides the terrifying implication that he was a dom who practiced without respecting the subs he was with (terrifying, unsafe, dangerous), and the sadness of someone denying themselves of sex they like because of sexist notions of chilvary, he's just the same as Christian Grey.colorlessbluenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-62794878325767858462013-07-22T17:25:04.741-04:002013-07-22T17:25:04.741-04:00Holy Cow - I take a little nap for most of the day...Holy Cow - I take a little nap for most of the day and look what happens! Thanks for stopping by everyone and for chiming in your support.In hind sight - I shouldn't have called him names. Or misspelled his name. But I fully believe everyone can love or hate the romance genre, it's too bad if you hate it but the words Mommy Porn insinuate something much more than dislike. Or even dismissal - it's insidious marginalization. Molly O'Keefehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15171236688541657736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-10633436025390242582013-07-22T17:23:01.242-04:002013-07-22T17:23:01.242-04:00Fantastic! Wonderful post Molly. Fantastic! Wonderful post Molly. Kwanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06428954660974395117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-74488128698518887252013-07-22T16:36:52.141-04:002013-07-22T16:36:52.141-04:00Whether or not a person prefers to read romance or...Whether or not a person prefers to read romance or another genre, it's wrong to insult or dismiss an entire genre offhand. Especially without reading any, or reading a tiny sample.<br /><br />And dismissing *any* book with words like "fluff" or "smut" or "trash" or "mommy porn" is just plain mean. <br /><br />While clearly romance isn't the only kind of fiction women write or read, and yes, obviously women have interests other than love and sex, I do believe the insult comes at least partly because romance is fiction by women, for women. And because it's about all those uncomfortable emotion things that some men don't like to admit they have. Also because romances are about desire, which maybe some women find embarrassing to admit to feeling in public...Maureen McGowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00494408580378817045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-75866252541945811502013-07-22T16:23:12.068-04:002013-07-22T16:23:12.068-04:00Can I just say ditto? Dayum girl! Good stuff!!!Can I just say ditto? Dayum girl! Good stuff!!!Mari Carrhttp://www.maricarr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-74642894025758012512013-07-22T14:32:18.933-04:002013-07-22T14:32:18.933-04:00Hear hear. Thank you, Molly!Hear hear. Thank you, Molly!Kayelle Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02833531229634787728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29864506.post-70848897880593259782013-07-22T14:22:07.973-04:002013-07-22T14:22:07.973-04:00I have been reading all forms of romance since the...I have been reading all forms of romance since the late 1960s...I have never had a child....Why is what I am readin called Mommy Porn? Sheez! I really hate labels!<br />Great post Molly darlin! Way to go!<br /><br />hugs ya,<br />jothe johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10499069773559457014noreply@blogger.com